Unfolding and growing
Try it: Sometime, during your earlier adult or teenage life, it is likely you held a socialised mindset. You started privileging being a part of a group and valuing the principles and traditions. ...
It is the schools debate. I feel a powerful sense of pride. My 11 year old heart is glowing. I have just won! My topic? That humans should spend millions on space flight. Why? In 8 billion years time our sun will go supernova. Our survival depends on space.
Today, looking back, I know where a lot of that pride was from. My dad was a scientist. My mother privileged logic and academic success at school. I was living their values, their ideals and theories.
This way of thinking, while it was not my home base at the time, is known as ‘socialised’. When we are see ourselves and the world around us in a socialised way it is like we are embedded in the perspectives of others.
Our growth does not necessarily stop at socialised. There are patterns and predictability to our inner development, our inner thinking-pattern growth as adults. We can map ourselves, assist our abilities and this is series on developmental unfolding to help you do this.
You, I and all of us unfold:
We may see it in our eyes.
Feel this, consciously or unconsciously, in others’ eyes.
How we are or were may resonate with music.
We can inquire inwards, mentally, noticing what we feel.
Try it
Sometime, during your earlier adult or teenage life, it is likely you held a socialised mindset. You started privileging being a part of a group and valuing the principles and traditions inherent to that group’s culture. You wanted to fit in and follow those in positions of authority.
Can you think of a time:
When you were living your mother and father’s priorities?
Other's values were framing your career choice or aspirations around what you wanted to be?
What you thought was important? Science? Art?
Being successful? What you think or thought ‘success’ is?
Were you part of a clique, a close group of people at school or elsewhere? Or excluded from such a group? Or maybe you recognise this around religion, or a club you were in? Perhaps it resonates around taking on other people’s scientific values and theories? Loving music or a band that spoke to how you wanted to be?
Your development growth is more graspable when you play with it and explore it. Noticing when you exhibit behaviours that correlate with a particular stage is a useful way to do this. Recalling how it felt (the feelings then and in the now) helps to remember. It assists our empathy and understanding of this particular stage, our insight into how it is alive in us.
Take 5 minutes to reach into that time:
What stands out for you?
How does it feel as you explore these memories and sensations now?
What are you feeling in your body?
Is there a gift or insight in the energy you experience resting in these times?
How is this alive in you today?
The Conform playlist is music that may remind you of this time too.
Read on
Un-socialised. Why is this useful and what can we integrate? Try more, un-socialised substack here>
References
This series draws from the following books and research:
Jennifer Garvey Berger Changing on the Job https://amzn.to/3IV85Se
Robert Kegan The Evolving Self https://amzn.to/3SS7Pbc
William Torbert Action Inquiry https://amzn.to/3JfBUOB
Models and research:
Rainer von Leoprechting Frænid CADRA https://fraendi.org/cadra/
Susanne Cook-Greuter Ego Development https://www.researchgate.net/publication/356357233_Ego_Development_A_Full-Spectrum_Theory_Of_Vertical_Growth_And_Meaning_Making
Terri O'Fallon Stages https://www.terriofallon.com/publications/
And a wealth of my own embodied experience including:
Coaching
Facilitating this in and for groups
My personal journey, The Rascal, the Mongrel and the Mutant https://benevolution.substack.com/p/the-rascals-immunity
My PhD https://be-benevolution.com/2015/03/06/a-climate-for-change/